- Grown Ups 2. Directed by Dennis Dugan. Starring Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James.
Rating: 5 (out of 10)
KEEPING in mind that Adam Sandler movies have to be graded on a curve, this one's pretty good.
And by that I mean that the film has no message at all and minimal plot. But at least we are spared the sight of Adam Sandler in a dress.
The film is one long, star-studded fart joke. Sorry, make that one long "burpsnart" joke: filmmakers, running low on flatulence material, decided to combine the burp-sneeze-fart into one specialized movement for your repeated enjoyment. We are less than a minute into the film when we get the first joke featuring bodily fluids, when a deer rears up and pees on a terrified family.
Each man has a mini-crisis, the better to fill in the holes between burpsnarts. Lenny (Sandler) and his wife (Salma Hayek) talk about adding to their family; Eric (Kevin James) prefers the company of his mother (remember Mary Tyler Moore's Georgia Engel?) to that of his wife (Maria Bello); Marcus (David Spade) discovers he has a long-lost, pathological son (Vancouver's Alexander Ludwig); Kurt (Chris Rock) makes his wife (Maya Rudolph) feel bad for forgetting their 20th anniversary.
They live in an idyllic little town where the ultra-rich and trailer-park coexist peaceably. The boys are all employed to one degree or another but seem to have nothing better to do than hang out at Kmart all day, lamenting their lost youth. "It's been many, many years since we did something crazy," observes one.
Crazy never quite happens, but a trip to the local watering hole sparks a turf war with frat boys headed by Taylor Lautner, showing off his impressive martial arts skills. "No one's afraid of a black guy anymore: damn you, Obama!" says Kurt.
Say what you will about Sandler, but he's a loyal fellow. This is the eighth film directed by Dennis Dugan. He employs the same actors time and time again: Allen Covert has been in some 23 Sandler productions, Jonathan Loughran is at 17, and Peter Dante is the veteran of some 15 films; the list goes on.
The film is also a virtual scrapbook of Saturday Night Live alumni: Cheri Oteri, Tim Meadows, Andy Samberg, Taran Killam, Bobby Moynihan, Paul Brittain, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Will Forte, Melanie Hutsell, Ellen Cleghorne, Jon Lovitz, Maya Rudolph and Colin Quinn are among the supporting cast.
Not enough for you? How about some former athletes ("Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Shaquille O'Neal). Still not titillating enough? How about star spawn (Paulina Gretzky, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Oliver Hudson) and at least four other people with the last name Sandler?
The film is rated PG 13, and there are plenty of teachable moments for children: proper food orifices, for instance (Nick Swardson putting Cheetos up his nose then eating them is bad; ditto the principal eating his belly-button lint). Little girls learn that they'd better save up for surgery: whomever designed the costumes ensured that Hayek's breasts do most of the acting for her.
I can't tell you much about the plot, beyond that, as my notes read something like this: "Boob joke, poop joke, butt jokes, pepper-sprays himself in the eyes, poo in department store toilet, testicles." In other words, it's packed with moronic fun tailor-made for Sandler fans.
