Life’s circumstances are often beyond our control, but how we choose to think and feel about them remains firmly within our power.
Our attitude plays a crucial role in shaping the quality of our lives, and I believe that cultivating an attitude of gratitude is the key to unlocking a mindset of happiness.
Gratitude redirects our focus away from negativity and toward the positive aspects of our lives, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem in the moment. I wrote a previous article on the transformative power of gratitude and in this article I want to honour a dear departed friend who learned to embody the positive energy of gratitude.
My friend David Freeze taught me some of the most profound lessons about living in a state gratitude.
David was a healthy and vibrant young man in our community until a tragic accident left him a quadriplegic. I first met David in 2006, a year after his accident, while he was living in an extended care facility in my community. I was volunteering as a visitor to the elderly residents, and David rolled into the room with warm greetings for everyone. Over the next few months, we developed a close friendship and he confided in me about his struggles with depression. He felt trapped by his circumstances in a body that didn’t work. Despite his friendly demeanour, he felt he had little to offer and lacked a purpose in his life.
He had lost complete use of his body below the shoulders and was entirely dependent on nurses and caregivers for everything — from eating and hygiene to coughing or clearing his throat. The transition from being a strong, athletic bodybuilder to losing almost all physical autonomy with no hope of recovery was an unimaginable adjustment. David’s feelings of depression were entirely understandable given his circumstances. David expressed to me that he didn’t like the anti-depressants he was prescribed, as he hated feeling numb.
When I asked if he’d be willing to try a gratitude program I had recently developed, he looked at me in disbelief. “What on earth could I possibly have to be grateful for?” he asked.
I suggested that David imagine what his life might look like if he were a homeless quadriplegic in a poverty-stricken country, perhaps living on the streets with no one to care for him and no access to basic needs. In such a situation, he would be relying on charitable passersby to put food in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to even brush flies out of his eyes.
Painting a bleak picture of how some quadriplegics may live in impoverished areas of the world got David thinking. He had a private bedroom with a huge window (and a big-screen TV) in a modern, climate-controlled, government-subsidized facility in Canada. He received round-the-clock care, had friends who visited him regularly, and had his essential needs met every day.
Within a short period of time David was embracing a more positive perspective and finding gratitude for his life. Through many heartfelt conversations, David decided to shift his outlook from one of resistance, despair and self-pity to one of gratitude and purpose.
Along with embracing gratitude, he developed a spiritual practice that profoundly transformed his life. Over time, David’s perspective changed so dramatically that I asked if I could write his story and suggested he may like to share it. This led to a series of speaking engagements at local high schools, where David spoke of his experiences (both pre- and post-accident) with young people just starting driver’s training. He talked about the importance of making safe choices, practicing sobriety, and maintaining a positive attitude. The young people loved his honestly, frankness and humour, and no question was taboo.
David’s story caught the attention of the local newspaper who did a feature article on him. As a result of his service to the community, he qualified for a grant and received a state-of-the-art wheelchair, a computer, and a large television, all controlled by sip-and-puff technology. These innovations allowed him to leave the care facility and explore the town on his own, greatly improving his independence. David became a familiar and beloved presence in our community, known for his friendly smile, witty jokes, and optimistic outlook.
David has been a tremendous source of inspiration to me, particularly during the challenging years of raising my teenagers. In moments of frustration — whether I was tackling an endless pile of dishes, laundry or constantly picking up after them — I would often remind myself, “David would give anything to have this problem.” That simple thought helped shift my mindset from resistance to gratitude for my own mobility and the other blessings in my life. I would follow these thoughts with appreciation for David, and a blessing sent his way.
Sadly, David passed away a few years ago, but he lived almost a decade longer than doctors originally predicted.
David left a beautiful legacy of resilience and positivity and was living proof that regardless of one’s life situation, an attitude of gratitude has the power to completely transform one’s perspective on life.
David’s story serves as a powerful reminder that gratitude is not just a feeling but a choice that can illuminate and transform even the darkest of times.
I am very blessed to have known David, and he still influences me today.
Claire Nielsen is a health coach, author, public speaker and founder of www.elixirforlife.ca. The information provided in the above article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional health and medical advice. Please consult a doctor, health-care provider or mental health practitioner if you're seeking medical advice, diagnoses and/or treatment.
