Back when gold rings came in packs of five and it was socially acceptable to re-gift milking maids, there were 12 days of Christmas. The advent of Advent calendars gave us 25 days of tinsel and jingle but that wasn’t enough for the Eggnoganati who are conspiring to turn a one-day celebration into a season-long obsession. While we hate to align ourselves with the foes of holly, those warriors against Christmas who float Fox News’ ratings every yule, we believe ye merry gentlemen should give it a rest until Dec. 1.
