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Society extends a helping hand

Organization serves local mothers facing challenges
Society extends a helping hand

Nina Hemmes recently enjoyed a family vacation to Hawaii.

While sun-soaked getaways are common for many local residents, hers was special as it marked a much-desired return to normalcy, good health, and light at the end of a very dark year.

Hemmes experienced a number of health issues after she got pregnant with her second son, Lukas, now 11 months. From week nine, she was in and out of the hospital and racing from one medical appointment to another. In a lot of pain, she was on bed rest and faced isolation, all the while trying to care for her eldest son, Sam, now three years old.

"It was very, very challenging for everybody," says Hemmes, 30, a former North Vancouver resident who recently moved to White Rock.

"It was the worst time of my life," she adds.

While her extended family is not in the Lower Mainland (she's from Sweden originally), her husband, Colin, did what he could, though was hampered by a full-time work schedule. Local family and friends likewise offered assistance when possible.

A further worry was that Hemmes had experienced post-partum depression following the birth of her first son. Concerned for her well-being and realizing she needed more help, Hemmes' medical team referred her to the North Vancouverbased Spectrum Mothers Support Society as part of her care.

From that moment on, everything changed. The non-profit society provides a host of free services to North Shore mothers caring for children under age five who find themselves in challenging situations. Spectrum was founded by North Vancouver's Sally Livingstone, who serves as executive director.

Examples of challenges faced by society clients can include health issues, as in Hemmes' case, or be related to mental health, abusive relationships, addiction or financial. The society also serves teenage and single mothers, students, as well as new immigrants and mothers of children with disabilities. "Our goal is to get there early in that situation so that we can support them before crisis hits," says Livingstone.

Services include caregivers who go into the mothers' homes, offering respite, as well as mentorship, phone support, driving services, and doulas, on hand both before and after the baby is born.

Support is tailored to the needs of each particular mother and could mean holding a crying baby while she has a shower, lending a compassionate ear, or transporting her and her child to a drop-in support group, a medical appointment or the grocery store.

Livingstone was inspired to launch the Spectrum Mothers Support Society following her experiences as a nurse, going back 40 years to when she was working in London, England, at Westminster Children's Hospital. During that time, she witnessed a young mother who had had twins - a healthy baby and a second born with spina bifida. The healthy child was taken home whereas the sick baby was left behind, passing away a few weeks later in hospital.

Her goal ever since has been to provide children in need with a loving and caring environment. Therefore in Livingstone's personal life she serves as a foster mother, offering a safe-baby home for drug and alcohol-exposed and medically fragile babies.

She currently has three foster babies in her care in addition to an adopted daughter Devon, 8, who she started caring for at birth, adopting her at age three.

"It's a challenge, but there's a saying when you're passionate about something, you just make it work and I think that's just always been my life, you just make it work. I could not do it without the incredible caregivers that I have in my own life and with Spectrum," says Livingstone.

Her personal experiences further encouraged her to launch the society in 2006.

"As a foster mom and knowing what it's like for moms to be separated from their children, whatever the reason, and just wondering if you were able to put support in early enough if we could just keep families in tact," says Livingstone, of her motivation.

Spectrum currently has 19 caregivers working with 40 families. A family's time spent with the society ranges from three months to three years, dependent on need.

Mothers are referred by professionals, including local doctors, nurses, social workers, police officers and community agencies.

Supporting mothers in need

 

 

 

 

 

Community members are welcome to get involved with the society. Interested caregivers must undergo an application process and criminal record check, and be CPR-certified, in addition to having relevant training and experience. Many prove to be mothers themselves, some of whom previously faced challenges in their own lives, and are interested in giving back.

What's been a pleasant surprise to Livingstone are the friendships that develop between the mothers and caregivers who stay connected long after their official Spectrum-related relationship is over.

"That to me is sort of building the community because now these moms who may well have felt very isolated before now have a friend and that to me is huge," she says.

In the lead-up to her son's birth, Hemmes was assigned primary doula Jessica Sloan, a North Vancouver resident.

"She was just there and that felt really good," says Hemmes, explaining how helpful it was to have such a knowledgeable resource at her disposal around the clock.

Both Sloan and Hemmes' backup doula were there for Lukas' birth, which happened early at 36 weeks. While Lukas stayed in the hospital for seven days, he is now a healthy, happy boy. Hemmes too is doing well and fully recovered, despite experiencing some shortterm post-partum depression and requiring a surgical procedure three months after giving birth. She's grateful for the support of a society caregiver during that period.

"If we can give a mom of any age a positive birth experience, as positive as we can, and put them into a feeling of having control over the situation where often they don't feel like they have any control whatsoever, the outcome after the baby is born is usually a lot better," says Sloan. She also serves as a society board member and works as a nurse. She's been part of Spectrum since its launch, attracted to its mission. "We should be taking care of each other as much as we can and giving the support to those that aren't as fortunate to have it," she says.

Society representatives continually hear from mothers regarding its "lifechanging" and "life-saving" impacts. "That to me sums it up, that we are able to get in there, help the moms in crisis, and stay long enough to help them to make those changes in their life that they need to continue to be the moms that they want to be. That's what it's all about," says Livingstone.

Her goal is to one day open a six-bedroom house, giving her additional space to care for her own foster children, as well as offer space and respite to society mothers and their children. The house could also prove useful for mothers who, due to their circumstances - like mental illness - require around the clock support in caring for their babies.

Spectrum is currently in the midst of a holiday hamper drive. Interested donors are encouraged to contact Livingstone and will be matched with one of their mothers, asked to fulfill the woman's specific holiday wish.

Examples of desired items include towels, spa gift cards, and pots and pans. The deadline for donations is Monday, Dec. 22. To participate, phone Livingstone at 604-562-5530.

In addition, the society has launched a crowdfunding campaign on Fundrazr in support of its ongoing operations. To donate, visit fnd.us/c/4tNQ7.

"Our family is back now on track," says Hemmes. "It was really amazing what Spectrum could do.. .. It was really nice to find out that there are selfless people in this world that actually help others, that look after you. It's sort of like mothers helping mothers. I owe them the world really. They're a wonderful, wonderful organization."

For more information on the Spectrum Mothers Support Society, visit spectrummothers.ca.